That relationships evolve, is a commonly known and accepted fact. But the extent to which they evolve, and the people involved change is an unspecified territory. Who knows how any of the people involved will change, how as they grow, the ones they chose will evolve.
So how do you weigh your chances before you dive in? How does anyone, in any scenario determine the deal breakers and speed breakers? How far will you go, how much will you understand and then how well will you respect that understanding? And then, if you’re understanding AND respectful of the changes, how do you know that the other person won’t take them for granted and use that knowledge against you? Conversely, how do you also ensure that these same gold standards are being applied to you by those same people as well?
Another thing which intrigues me, is how our standards and perceptions and expectations are automatically different in different relationships. It’s really interesting, if one was to analyse the psychology behind all this. Do we honestly think this much, weigh as much, when we are talking of our blood relationships? Or do we grow up with this internal wiring that anything our parents or grandparents or siblings say, ought to be excused and not questioned in the same manner? Is it because those relationships were something we were born with, and learnt to accept them as they were presented to me since our birth? Maybe. Maybe because those were the relationships which introduced us to the world and helped us build our initial perspective of it. So, while that perspective might have changed as we become older and familiar with the outside world, a permanent film of haze has developed somewhere at the core of these bonds, which doesn’t allow us to be equally questioning, or suspicious, or demanding where they are concerned.
However, as i write this, i realize that even this auto parameter is different for different people. A lot of people have that similar independent line of thinking even with their families, and i think it’s amazing (but since i don’t fall in that category, it would be pretentious to dwell any further on it).
Ultimately, in any relationship, how do you determine you’re the fool who’s giving too much without any expectations, or are you the one who gives too little but expects the world? And how do you ensure that when you do think about these things, you have replaced the lens of personal outrage with that of rationality and pragmatism?
Random Thoughts 